Professor of religion and philosophy at Wabash College, Stephen H. Webb, in his jeremiad, "How Soccer is Ruining America," satirically explicates why soccer is a horrible sport and how exactly it is ruining the United States. Webb's purpose is not to scorn soccer, but rather to ridicule and reject people who denounce soccer and their ideas regarding soccer. He adopts a ridiculously serious tone in order to convey sarcasm and to convey to his readers, who are likely soccer aficionados, just how absurd he finds the ideas presented.
Webb begins with the point that, in soccer, one is limited to only the use of his or her feet. He claims that this is wrong because the use of the hands is often attributed to humans' civilization while the use of the feet may be considered primordial or disrespectful. He poses rhetorical questions like "Do kids ever say, 'Trick or Treat, smell my hands'?" and "Did Jesus wash his disciples’ hands at the Last Supper?" (268). By posing these questions, Webb provides relatable examples that support his claim of feet being less civilized than hands. These questions appeal to both logos and ethos. The first question appeals to logos because Webb's point that the saying "Trick or Treat, smell my feet" conveys disrespect is logical. The second question appeals to Webb's ethos because it is a biblical reference and having knowledge of the Bible usually contributes to a person's credibility. This may make the point seem more believable to a reader.
Webb continues on to expound that another reason why soccer is ruining the United States is because it is a foreign invasion. He claims that "more than having to do with its origin, soccer is a European sport because it is all about death and despair" (268). Webb supports this claim by relating soccer games ending in a "sudden death" to old-fashioned, European duels. He also includes words like "put out of its misery" (268). This comparison and diction convey to the reader the ideas of death and despair. They do so because "putting something out of its misery" is synonymous to "killing" and duels are known to end with the death of one of the parties involved.
Webb concludes with the point that soccer is inescapable. Also, he discloses details about soccer in relation to his family. He establishes that all three of his kids play soccer, on three different teams at the same time, and that he actually likes the sport--"Nonetheless, I must say that my kids and I come home from a soccer game a very happy family" (269). This statement is one of the few parts of this jeremiad that is not satirical. It conveys to the audience that Webb does in fact like soccer because people normally return home happy if they enjoy the sport they were watching or playing, not if they don't like it.
This jeremiad by Stephen H. Webb is satirical mockery of soccer and the effect it has on the United States.
Webb begins with the point that, in soccer, one is limited to only the use of his or her feet. He claims that this is wrong because the use of the hands is often attributed to humans' civilization while the use of the feet may be considered primordial or disrespectful. He poses rhetorical questions like "Do kids ever say, 'Trick or Treat, smell my hands'?" and "Did Jesus wash his disciples’ hands at the Last Supper?" (268). By posing these questions, Webb provides relatable examples that support his claim of feet being less civilized than hands. These questions appeal to both logos and ethos. The first question appeals to logos because Webb's point that the saying "Trick or Treat, smell my feet" conveys disrespect is logical. The second question appeals to Webb's ethos because it is a biblical reference and having knowledge of the Bible usually contributes to a person's credibility. This may make the point seem more believable to a reader.
Webb continues on to expound that another reason why soccer is ruining the United States is because it is a foreign invasion. He claims that "more than having to do with its origin, soccer is a European sport because it is all about death and despair" (268). Webb supports this claim by relating soccer games ending in a "sudden death" to old-fashioned, European duels. He also includes words like "put out of its misery" (268). This comparison and diction convey to the reader the ideas of death and despair. They do so because "putting something out of its misery" is synonymous to "killing" and duels are known to end with the death of one of the parties involved.
Webb concludes with the point that soccer is inescapable. Also, he discloses details about soccer in relation to his family. He establishes that all three of his kids play soccer, on three different teams at the same time, and that he actually likes the sport--"Nonetheless, I must say that my kids and I come home from a soccer game a very happy family" (269). This statement is one of the few parts of this jeremiad that is not satirical. It conveys to the audience that Webb does in fact like soccer because people normally return home happy if they enjoy the sport they were watching or playing, not if they don't like it.
This jeremiad by Stephen H. Webb is satirical mockery of soccer and the effect it has on the United States.